Random debate question: "you missed the point"

[onegalacticwino]

My friend, who is a lawyer, and I are having an email discussion about
lawsuits in the U.S. We read a book that had a
chapter on this, and my friend wrote back about it. I felt he had
missed the point of the chapter based on his email, and so I ended my intro
paragraph back to him with "you completely missed the point", in
reference to his interpretation of the chapter.

Our debate then took a huge tangent on how he felt "you missed the
point" is a negative comment, and compared it to saying "your argument
is ridiculous" -- or at least they are in the same general area of
offense. I disagreed and said they were completely different -- I
feel that "you missed the point" could be a valid statement in most
discussions, and that he's being too sensitive.

What is your opinion: is that statement offensive, negative, or unnecessary
language in a debate -- or could it be a useful, innocuous expression
or statement? :confused:

[justafan]

'you missed the point', to me, clearly states to someone that what they were focussing on wasn't what you thought they should focus on. To me it says nothing about his argument and it does not call it rediculous, it just draws attention to another area.

[Alix]

I'm in agreement with Justafan.